Brothers
by Eve2006
Summary: Dean didn't go to Stanford to get Sam when their father first went missing, but that didn't stop Yellow Eyes from making a house call. Pilot AU, First Fanfic so please read and review
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

It had been two years, but Dean Winchester still felt as lost today as he did when he watched his pain in the ass little brother walk out the door – realising that with his fathers ultimatum hanging in the air that Sam, his Sammy had no way back. He had stood watching the scene unfold and spiral out of control as his fathers' voice boomed, "You walk out that door, don't come back" and as Dean felt the breath being sucked out of his body he realised that everyone in that room knew what it meant. Sam was never going to back down, anybody that knew anything about Sam Winchester knew that he was as stubborn as a mule, funnily enough that was definitely a trait that both boys got from the great John Winchester. His father had spent the last number of years sparring with Sam on a daily basis on things like not playing soccer, how much training had to be done before Sam could go do his home work, they couldn't even agree when they would have dinner for God's sake, so how could he not have known? How could he not have realised that once those words were out of his mouth, that that was it, that was the end game? Dean had always known that his father was scared, had been ever since the night that Mary died, he had never gotten over her death and the fact that he was there when the women he loved was killed and couldn't do anything to stop it seemed to eat away at him a little more everyday. In contrast all Sam could see was a man driven for revenge, a man so hell bent in taking down "Yellow Eyes" that he had lost sight of the fact that two members of his family had survived that night, that his father hadn't lost everything in the awful fire that took there mother away, but instead when he looked at his sons he only saw soldiers for the hunt. Dean never understood how Sam couldn't see what he himself saw – a man who was scared of loosing his kids to the same thing that had taken his wife. Maybe if he knew that his father had been going to Stanford to make sure that he was alright, checking up on him every chance he had, maybe then he would see his fathers ultimatum that night for what it was, a parent who was terrified of losing his son.

As the bartender put a beer down in front of him, Dean was conflicted about what he was going to do. Dean had been in New Orleans, on a solo hunt, and now sitting in some bar waiting to meet his father, the only problem was John Winchester was supposed to be here a week ago. He had called everyone he could think of Pastor Jim, Caleb, hell he had even called Bobby, but no one had heard from him. The thought of calling Sam had crossed his mind more than once, to let him know that Dad was missing but a niggling doubt at the back of his mind kept asking him - would Sam would care? Deep down inside he knew he would, there was no question that his little brother loved his father but Dean felt that because Sam believed that his father was still waiting for him to come crawling back from Stanford with his tail firmly between his legs, he would shut down and tell Dean that "Dad was just being Dad, same old marine crap, working on a need to know basis, either that or he was spending some quality time with his friend Jack Daniels." But now Dean was all out of options, he had no one else to call, and he wasn't his father, he wasn't about to let some stupid fight get in his way. He needed his family back, and sure this wasn't the first time that his dad had gone "missing" but something in his gut was telling him this was bad and it frightened him more than he would admit to even himself. He took out his cell and hoped that Sam still had the same number, all the while knowing that despite everything that happened, Sam wouldn't break all connections with his family and change his number without letting Dean know. As he dialled he took a deep breath, part of him hoping to speak with Sam, needing to speak with his brother, the other part hoping that Sam wouldn't pick up, cause he didn't want to have to deal with the possibility of Sam rejecting him, telling him that hunting was no longer his life, that he had finally got what he always wanted – his white picket fence life and wasn't about to give it up. Just when it seemed as if it was going to voicemail the call was answered but there was no way that Dean could have been prepared for what was about to happen.

"She's gone Dean, she's gone." The voice was so low and sounded so broken that Dean thought he must have called the wrong number, but then he heard the familiar sob, the Sammy sob, the one that had broken Deans heart so many times over the years, the last time being when he had dropped his little brother to the bus stop, all the while trying to convince him that "Dad didn't mean it Sammy, he's just doesn't want you to go."

"Sam, what's wrong?" Dean was standing up at the sound of Sam's voice, he had thrown some money down on the bar and was on his way out the door, when he heard "She's dead, Dean, Jess is dead," Sam's voice was barely above a whisper and Dean was glad that he was already out of the bar otherwise he might not have heard it at all. He thought back to the last time that he had seen his brother, Sam had been off campus, walking hand in hand to a coffee shop with the same stunning blonde who he had seen him with for the last year and a half, she seemed be captivated by his little brother. Dean remembered laughing to himself knowing that Sam would have thought that she was way out of his league and how much fun it would have been to watch his little brother fall over himself trying to build up the courage to ask her out. He was snapped out of his thoughts as Sam continued and he realised that his brother was barely holding it together.

"I came home and she was…….on the ceiling, she…she looked so scared Dean and then she was on fire, I couldn't save her………I tried Dean I swear I tried……."

"Sammy calm down, I'm on my way. I'll be there in just over an hour Sam, don't do anything. I'll be there soon, I promise. We'll deal with this together, you and me, just like always ok?" Dean said as he started the Impala, deep down he knew it was at least a two hour drive to Stamford but there were no speed limits going to stop him getting to his brother as soon as he could. When he was met with nothing but silence, he felt a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. "Sam. Sam are you there? Sammy answer me, God damit"

"Yeah Dean I'm here, don't do anything, wait until you come" Sam's voice was so unemotional that it was more terrifying for Dean than the distraught Sam had been.

"Sam, I need you to listen to me, I'm going to call you every fifteen minutes, if you don't answer you're cell, I am going to be very pissed and kick your ass when I get there, you got that? You have to answer your phone when I call, ok?" Dean realised that for all his trying his voice still sounded panicked but Sam didn't seem to notice as he continued in the same voice, "every fifteen minutes, ok Dean"

"That's good Sammy, that's good. Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can." As he was about to hang up Dean heard his little brother's whispered plea, "Hurry Dean" and then the connection was cut.

Tbc??????

Please review, this is my first ever fanfic - be honest but try not to be too harsh. Should I continue???


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

He was humming Metallica to try to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. So many thoughts were streaming through Dean's mind as the road stretched out in front of him. How would he help his brother deal with his grief, when would he tell him that the reason their father wasn't with him was because he was missing and Dean didn't have a clue where he was or even where to start looking. But his main worry was that after two years apart, could they go back to being brothers the way they used to be?

Dean had always known that this day would come, the day he would finally meet up with his brother again but he had never imagined that it would be like this. As he drove to Stanford he tried to fight back the feeling of dread that was beginning to take hold of him. His Dad was missing and now from the little information he had been able to get out of Sam, Jessica had died in the same tragic way that his mother had twenty-two years ago. He thought back to the last voicemail that he had received from his father warning him to be careful, that they were all in danger.

A thought flashed through his mind, could his father have known that something like this was coming. He immediately dismissed it, deep down knowing there was no way that his father would leave Sam unprotected if he had any idea about what was going to happen. But the more he thought about it the more he was certain that Jessica being killed was in some way connected to his fathers disappearance.

This was bad, really really bad. He pick up his cell and dialled, listening as it went straight to voicemail. As he waited until the familiar message had finished he took a deep breath while he waited for the beep.

"Dad, please if you get this message call me, I'm on my way to Stanford. Sam called, his girlfriend has been killed. I don't know everything, but it sounds like she died the same was as Mom. Dad, please, I don't know what to do."

Dean sighed as he cut the call, he knew that Sam was going to be expecting him to have the answers once he arrived but Dean knew that the information he had would only lead to further questions.

He looked at his watch, it had been twenty minutes since he last called Sam and heard his brothers' one-word replies. Calling his brother every fifteen minutes not only served to ensure that Sam was ok and that while in a state of shock and grief he was being reminded that his brother was on his way, but it also let Dean feel like he was doing something to help his brother even though he couldn't be with him. He was about another half hour from Stanford as he started to dial Sam's number again.

The call going to voicemail had Dean's heart rate increasing. Deciding against leaving a message, he redialled the number.

"Come on Sammy, pick up" he whispered.

He was certain that it was about to go through to voicemail again, when a voice answered "Hello"

With that one word, Dean Winchesters heart stopped, the voice on the other end of the phone wasn't Sam.

"Where's Sam, why have you got my brothers phone?" it can came out of Dean's mouth so fast that he was quite surprised to find the person on the other end actually understood what he had said.

"You're Dean" it didn't sound like a question to Dean, more a stated fact, that for unlike Dean this had been expected, and he listened as the voice on the other end of the line continued to speak.

"Sam said that you'd be calling. I'm his friend Zach. He can't come to the phone right now"

"What's wrong…..what's going on? Why can't he come to the phone?" Dean couldn't understand what was going on, he had just spoken to his brother a few minutes ago.

"Sorry, that came out wrong, I just meant that he asked me to answer the phone cause he said you'd be calling. The cops needed to talk to him, wanted some information on the fire."

The weight that had been bearing down on Dean's chest was suddenly released.

"Why is he talking to the cops, I thought the fire was an accident?" Dean had hoped that he would have arrived in Palo Alto before the cops had a chance to talk to Sam. He didn't like the idea of Sam facing the cops alone in his current state.

" Yeah, they think it was some faulty electrics in the bedroom, but they need Sam to let them now if he had noticed any prior faults, stuff like that."

"How's he doing?" Dean couldn't help but feel a little hurt at having to ask a stranger how his brother was, the same brother that he had watched over and protected since he was four years old.

"He's holding up, but you know Sam, man, he puts on a tough front."

"Yeah, I know. Listen, tell him I called and I'll be there soon." With that he cut the call and pressed a little harder on the accelerator.

Part of him was glad that his brother was not alone, while the other part, something that he would never admit to anyone especially Sam, was feeling unreasonably jealous. He had always been the one to look out for his little brother. He had never stopped trying to protect him, even while he was at college, but now there was someone else looking out for him. This Zach person had been with his brother in the immediate aftermath of his girlfriend's death and while thinking about this a terrifying thought crossed his mind.

Sam hadn't called him. If he had not picked up the phone to tell Sam that there father was missing, would Sam have called him? Maybe Sam didn't want him there. No, Dean told himself, Sam had asked him to hurry; Sam did want him there. But Dean couldn't shake the niggling feeling of doubt that had come over him. One thing was for sure, he would know soon enough as the lights of Palo Alto came into view.

Tbc...

Thanks for all the reviews. Ok so thats chapter 2, let me know what you think. I promise Dean will meet up with Sam in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

Sam had been listening to the sound of sirens for the last few hours and it had now begun to mesh into one continuous, head splitting wail. But even after two years apart he could identify the sound of the Impala, his brother's beloved car, rumbling to a stop just a few metres away. It was at this moment that it dawned on the Sam what was about to happen, he was going to see his brother again – but with that would come his father.

Sam had been so consumed with grief and so desperate that he hadn't thought it through when he had called Dean. What the hell had he been thinking? God he really couldn't face his father now, he just couldn't deal with seeing the disappointment on his face. He looked up and watched as Dean got out of the car and began searching the bystanders for him. As Dean spotted him he moved his hand in acknowledgement and that's when Sam came to a shocking realisation, his father wasn't with Dean. Sam swallowed the lump in his throat as he came to the only logical explanation, his father hated him that much that he hadn't come, he didn't feel that Sam was even worth wasting his energy on.

As Dean got out of the Impala and scanned the crowd he had no difficulty in recognising his little brother. He saw Sam sitting on the hood of a nearby-parked car, looking at the building whose flames the fire fighters seemed to be finally getting under control. Suddenly Sam looked up and Dean was transported back to a time when they were younger, when Sam would look at him with tears in his eyes, pleading with him to make everything ok, but then the look was gone. As he watched his brother, he saw sadness turn to disappointment and at that moment Dean's worst fears were confirmed, Sam didn't want him here.

Dean watched as Sam got up from where he was sitting, turned to the person who was sitting beside him, the person he could only assume was Sam's "friend" Zach, watched as he hugged him. He stood back while Zach turned to leave, nodding to Dean as Sam turned to him with his head down and began walking towards him.

At that moment it didn't matter to Dean whether Sam wanted him here or not cause his little brother was hurting and it was Deans job to protect him, always had been and always would be. He forced himself out of his stupor and started to walk to Sam, not knowing what to say or do to make things better. It was all forgotten as he reached Sam, who once standing in front of him, grabbed him into a hug and began to sob.

Acting on instinct, Dean put his arms around his brother, and tried to comfort him.

"It's ok Sammy, it's ok." Dean kept repeating the words, all the while trying to convince himself as much as Sam.

When Sam pulled away from him, he heard his brother mumble something as he returned his gaze to the ground.

Dean leaned forward and put a hand on his brother's shoulder, "Did you say something Sammy?" he asked his brother quietly.

"I said, it's Sam, you jerk. Sammy is a chubby twelve year old."

Dean watched as a hint of a smile graced his brother's lips, and couldn't help smirking himself.

"Well Sammy, if the caps fits, bitch."

Dean looked up and watched as the fire fighters were putting out the last of the fire. He turned and looked at his brother, Sam looked pale and exhausted, and all he wanted to do was get his brother into the Impala, and drive as fast as could away from the source of Sam's pain. As much as he wanted to, he knew it couldn't happen, Sam needed time to deal, he needed time for closure – God he had been watching way too much Oprah.

"You finished talking to the cops?" he asked, not wanting to push Sam to far too fast.

"Yeah, mmmm they think the fire was an electrical fault, some problem with the wiring." Sam said still staring at the ground.

"So there is no reason we can't leave……." Dean didn't get to finish his sentence as Whirlwind Sam turned on him full force.

"Is that why you're here? Is that why you came, to say I told you so?" People in the crowd began to turn to face them as Sam's voice got louder and louder.

Dean reached out his hands to try and pacify his brother but Sam began to step away from him.

"Sam, I didn't mean leave Stanford, I meant go to a motel, you need to get some rest." Dean had started after his brother, his voice pleading with Sam to be reasonable.

He watched as his brother suddenly came to a stop, something obviously grabbing his attention. As Dean looked up his heart broke for his brother as he watched the EMTs carry a black body bag out of the building. Walking up behind Sam, Dean put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"She's gone Dean, she's really gone," Sam whispered softly as he began to sway and Dean had to move quickly, to put his arm around his brothers waist to stop him from hitting the ground.

"Come on Sam, it's time to go." Dean said he quietly.

He led his brother to the Impala and was a little disconcerted by the fact that his Sam put up no resistance. As he closed the passenger door of the Impala, he took in the scene before him. It sent shivers up his spine as his mind flashed back to the night he lost his mother twenty-two years ago. He shook the feeling off, he didn't have time for self-pity, he had to take care of his brother. As he got behind the wheel he looked over and saw that Sam's head was leaning against the window, his eyes fighting a loosing battle to remain open. Dean started the car and headed out in search of a motel, he had a little brother to fix.

TBC...

Please read and review. Tell me what you like and what you don't like. By the way I know that Dean called Sam and not the otherr way around - it'll be all cleared up in the next few chapters.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

It didn't take Dean long to find a motel. As he stopped the Impala, he looked over and saw his brother asleep, head against the window. Deciding that there was no point in waking Sam until he had booked them in, he quietly got out of the car. Making his way to the door of the office he stopped in his tracks. Usually when it was just him and Sam, he would get a double room with two queens, but what if Sam wanted to be on his own, what if he wanted separate rooms?

No, it didn't matter what Sam wanted, there was no way he was leaving his brother on his own, Sam seemed so broken and it frightened Dean. He booked them into a room at the end to try to ensure their privacy. Getting back into the car, he noticed that Sam had not woken and he would have liked nothing better than to let his brother sleep, but he knew from experience that Sam would feel it in the morning, his long frame not made to remain in one confined space for so long.

Parking the car outside the room, Dean quickly opened the motel room door, moving to the trunk of the Impala, he took out his bag. It was then that it occurred to him that Sam had nothing but the clothes on his back, the smell of smoke having filled the Impala. Sam would have to make do with a pair of his sweats and a hoodie until he could get him some new clothes tomorrow, but first things first; he had to get his brother into the room.

As he opened the passenger door, he had to grab his brother to stop him falling out of the car.

"Hey there Sammy, I think you're getting too big for me to be carrying ya!"

Sam looked blearily at his brother, and slowly began manoeuvring himself out of the car. Dean shook his head; it was like watching Bambi taking his first steps, his brother was all over the place.

Finally getting into the room, Sam headed straight for the bed, and Dean couldn't help but notice that his brother had automatically taken the bed furthest from the door.

"No way Sam, you're not going to sleep yet." Dean said as he walked to his brother and began hauling him off the bed. He saw his Sam staring at him as if he had two heads.

"You need to have a shower and get out of those clothes," he continued, realising Sam seemed to be operating on autopilot.

"What, why?" was the only response that Sam could seem to muster, his eyes searching Dean's face as if he would find the answer there. Dean sighed, yep the lights were on but there was nobody home, he couldn't blame his brother though, he remembered his father in the aftermath of his mother's death. He had been a complete and utter wreck.

"Cause you'll feel better Sammy," Dean responded, trying to get his brother to move towards the bathroom.

"But I just want to sleep Dean, please let me sleep," Sam's soft request almost had Dean turn his brother and move him back to the bed, but he knew that his brother needed to get cleaned up and he didn't want his brother waking up to the smell of smoke.

"No Sammy, trust me, you'll feel better," he replied as he got Sam to the door. He almost didn't hear his brother's whispered response.

"I don't think I'll ever feel better,"

It broke Dean's heart to see his brother in such pain. For the second time that night he wished his father were here. Suddenly Sam turned startling Dean.

"I can't have a shower, I've no clothes," Sam said, his voice sounding panicked.

"It's ok, here you can have a pair of my sweats and a t-shirt. I have a hoodie here as well that you can put on so you don't get cold. We'll get you some new clothes tomorrow, ok?" Dean said, handing his brother the clothes.

Sam just nodded, turned and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Dean stood staring at the door and heard the familiar sound of the lock being turned. Taking a deep breath, Dean turned and sat on the bed, switching the T.V. on he watched as the news headlines told the story of how a beautiful medical student had been killed in a fire that authorities believed had been caused by faulty electrics.

Picking up the phone again, he dialled his father, listening as it went straight to voicemail.

"Dad, call me, please. I'm with Sam. Dad he needs you, we both do. Just, call alright?" As he ended the call he heard the shower running and had a feeling that he was going to be in for a long night.

**SN**

As Sam turned the shower on and slowly got under the hot spray, his muscles thanked him as a wave of relaxation rolled over him. He could still smell the smoke, and when he closed his eyes all he could see was his beautiful girlfriend, pinned to the ceiling, flames exploding and engulfing the room in a matter of seconds. At first he thought that it was just another one of those dreams, the ones he had been having for weeks but had put down to too much studying and not enough down time. If it hadn't been for Zach, Sam would have died there with her.

Standing with Zach outside his apartment building, watching the flames soar into the air, all he could think of was Dean, he needed his family. It seemed to take forever for him to hear the familiar rumble of the Impala, and when he had turned around to see only Dean standing there, he knew that his father really had meant what he said the night he left for Stanford.

But a least Dean was here. Suddenly a horrible thought struck him, what if his father didn't want Dean to be here, what if they had a row over his brother coming to Palo Alto? His brother worshiped their father and never disobeyed him, and Sam couldn't let him start now. Dean had to leave him and go back to their father, he should have never have called him. No, his brother had to leave. He shuddered as he thought about being alone again, but he wouldn't risk the relationship that his brother and father had, he couldn't do that to Dean.

**SN**

It had been almost half an hour since Dean had heard the shower start, and for someone who hadn't wanted a shower Sam sure was taking his time. Deans knee began to bob up and down, it wasn't that he didn't trust Sammy; he knew his brother wouldn't do anything stupid, but he knew that Sam had never experienced a loss like this. Being a baby when their mother died, his brother never had the connection and feeling of loss the he had felt when he was just four years old. Dean had always tried to stop his Sam from asking questions about his mother, not because he didn't want to talk about her, but because he didn't want his little brother to realise what he had lost.

He was shaken out of his thoughts as he heard the bathroom door open and watched as his brother emerged, his hair wet, falling into eyes. As Sam lifted his head and looked him straight in the eye, Deans breath caught in his throat.

"Dean, I want you to leave." Sam said, his voice stronger than he had thought he would be able to muster. It had taken him quite a bit of time to prepare himself to come out and face his brother, knowing that he would have to be strong in order to get his brother to leave.

For the second time that night, Dean felt his heart stop, searching his brothers face to see what was going through his mind, trying to tell if this was just Sam's emotions getting the better of him or if he was serious. Unfortunately, Dean had seen that look on his brother's face before – the night he told his father he was going to college.

Tbc...

Please read and review - Let me know what you like and what you don't like. I know I said it before but I will definitely have Sam and Dean talk it out in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

"What?" Ok, so Dean had something different totally different in his head, but for some reason his brain wasn't on speaking terms with his mouth, what was it Doctor Phil said life imitating art or something?

"You heard me, Dean, I want you to leave." Sam spoke, not looking at Dean, as he crossed the room to his bed.

"Sam, I don't know why you are saying that, but there is no way I'm leaving – look at you man, you are in no shape to be left alone" Dean said his voice sounding a little more tense than he would like.

At this his brother looked up at him, Sam's face gave nothing away and Dean swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

"Look Dean, I don't know why you came." Sam's voice bared no resemblance to the kid brother who had walked into the bathroom a few minutes before.

"You asked me to come Sam, that's why I'm here." Dean shouted, and at that moment all he could think of was, what was the deal with my mouth today? He watched as his brother flinched, the first real show of emotion since he had emerged from the shower.

"Well I'm sorry. I should have never called you, I don't need you here and I don't want you here." Sam shouted, suddenly moving away from the bed and picking up Dean's duffle, and throwing in the few bits that his brother had taken from the bag. He strode towards his brother and slammed the bag into Dean's chest. Looking his brother dead in the eye, Sam put the final nail in Dean's heart.

"Get out, I don't want you here." Without waiting for his brother's response Sam walked away, moving back to the bed, he sat on the side, his back to his brother shutting him out.

Dean didn't know what was going on, he hadn't seen this coming, but then he remembered the look on Sam's face when he saw him arrive. Dean felt the air leave his body, this wasn't an emotional outburst by his brother, this was him finally speaking the truth. Well if his brother didn't want him here then he wasn't about to stay where he was not wanted.

"You know what Sam, you're right, I made a mistake coming here." He shouted. Seeing only his brothers back and not getting any response Dean turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind him in the process.

SN

Sam knew he couldn't hold out much longer, if Dean didn't leave soon he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold it together. As he moved away from his brother, the tears started to fall and unable to remain standing he sank onto the side of the bed, his back to his brother. Listening as his brother told him he had made a mistake in coming here, had broken his heart, and Sam honestly didn't believe that anyone could withstand the amount of pain he had felt tonight.

Hearing his brother slamming the door was the final straw, Sam slipped from the bed and onto the floor sobbing, he was alone again. He had lost everything tonight, the women he loved, the life he had wanted all along and the family that he loved more than they would ever realise.

SN

Dean strode towards the Impala; opening the trunk he flung his duffle in, slamming it down he moved to get behind the wheel. If his brother didn't want him here that was fine. His Dad was missing and he needed him, he had offered Sam his help and he had thrown it back into his face, well that was just fine. Starting the engine, Dean put the car into gear and sped off, leaving his brother behind him.

As he drove, he began replaying the nights events over in his head. If Sam didn't want him here then why did he ask him to come, why did he even answer his phone? He would have known it was Dean, would have seen his name pop up on caller id, so why didn't Sam just cut the call?

Dean hadn't thought that it was possible for words to hurt so much, but when Sam said that he didn't need him and that he never should have called him…….wait a minute, his brother hadn't called him, he had called Sam to tell him about his father. Why did his brother think that he called him? Taking a deep breath, he ran his hand over his face, Sam had seemed to accept his help when he first arrived so what changed in the last few minutes. A bad feeling came over Dean, and before he even realised what was going on, the Impala was heading back towards the motel, back to his brother.

SN

Pulling back up in front of the motel, slowly switched off the engine. He sat in the car for a little while trying to figure out what was going on, going back over everything he came to only one conclusion; Sam was trying to push him away. Now he only had one thing to do, he needed to know why; otherwise he wasn't going to be able to help Sam. Letting out a sigh, he opened the car door while muttering to himself.

"Oh Sammy, always looking for the chick flick moments."

He hesitated as he approached the door, deciding that there was nothing that Sam could say to him that would make him leave, and he was not going to let this go until he knew what was going on with his brother. He knew that seeing his girlfriend being killed had been a traumatic event for his brother, but something had happened between the time they arrived at the motel and when Sam came out of the bathroom, something that had Sam lash out at him. Opening the door, Dean looked around in confusion as he realised that the room was empty.

Starting to panic, he scanned the room for his brother, seeing the bathroom door was open he went to it but Sam was not there. He took out his phone, ready to try and call his brother, when a muffled sob had him turning around. Not able to believe what he was seeing, he saw his little brother, sitting on the floor beside the bed, his head on his knees, which were drawn to his chest.

Crossing the room as quickly as he could, he knelt beside Sam. It looked as though his brother didn't even realise that anyone in the room and not wanting to startle his brother, Dean called out to him in a soft voice.

"Sammy, it's ok." Dean slowly put a hand on his shoulder and watched as Sam recoiled away from him. Looking up at his brother with a confused look on his face, Sam suddenly reached up and grabbed Dean in tight bear hug and began to cry whole heartily. Knowing that his brother needed reassurance and comfort now, Dean did what he did best. Reaching his arms behind his brother, he returned the hug, all the while knowing that he would need to question his brother later to find out what was really going on, but for now Sam needed him to be his big brother.

TBC...

Please read and review - I need to know what you like and what you don't like. The next chapter will definitely have Sam and Dean sorting things out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

**A/N** Sorry for the delay but last week was a bit hectic; hopefully it was worth the wait

Dean couldn't tell how long they had sat like that but what he did know was that his legs were beginning to go numb and he was sure that his brother could not be comfortable in the position that he was in.

"Sammy, come on I think it's time we get you off the floor." Dean said as he watched Sam nod his head and begin to move away from him. His brother shakily got off the floor and returned to his position at the edge of the bed.

Standing beside his brother, Dean decided that it was time to find out what was really going on with Sam.

"You feel like telling me why you wanted me to leave earlier on?" Dean said, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. Watching while Sam stared blankly at the wall in front of him, he was about to ask again when he heard Sam's quiet response.

"I told you Dean, I don't want you here."

Walking in front of his brother, he knelt down and lifted Sam's chin in order to ensure that his brother was looking him in the eye as he asked again.

"Sam, I want to know what's going on in that head of yours and before you say it, I know you don't mean it when you say you want me to leave." Holding firm as his brother tried to pull away from him, Dean watched a myriad of emotions washed over Sam's face.

"You need to leave Dean, I made a mistake, I should never have called you. Dad is going to be so mad with you for disobeying him, you have to go Dean, I already have Jess's death on my conscience and can't have that too. Please Dean just go." Sam said as he finally managed to pull his face away from his brother and began staring at the floor.

"Sam, I don't understand, what are you talking about, Dad isn't mad, I haven't disobeyed him….." Dean never got to finish what he was about to say as his brother suddenly stood up and cut him off.

"Then why isn't he here?" Sam shouted.

Dean was hit with the sudden realisation that he had not told his brother about their father being missing and in that he had never stopped to think what Sam must have thought when he had seen Dean arrive alone. Things were starting to make a little more sense now, the look of disappointment on Sam's face when he had arrived had nothing to do with Dean, it was his brother's reaction to there father not being there. God, he began to chastise himself, how must it have looked to Sam? Before he could start explaining the situation, Sam began to start pacing, and although talking out loud, Dean wasn't sure if his brother was talking to himself or to him.

"I mean I knew he was mad, but I always thought that one day you know, maybe he could start to understand that I wasn't trying to turn my back on the family by coming here, I just wanted my own life. But I guess I have always known that I disappointed him. Nothing I ever did was good enough; sometimes I wonder if it was just because he wished that it had been me that died that night and not mum or if it was because I wasn't as more like you."

Dean could not believe what he was hearing; there was no way that his brother could really believe that his father wished he had died instead of his mother. Did he not know that his father loved him, that he only wanted to protect him? He watched as his brother sank down on the bed, seeming to be completely drained. Dean couldn't stand it any longer; he couldn't let his brother continue to believe this. Moving to kneel in front of his brother again, Dean tried to make his brother understand.

"Sam…" Dean started softly but was cut off by his brother, who sounded defeated and broken.

"It's ok Dean. I understand now, you should go." Sam said quietly.

Dean could see that he needed to take a different approach in order to make his brother listen to him.

"Sam, stop it alright." He said in a firm voice as he placed his hand under his brother's chin in order to have him look at him. "I want you to stop talking and listen to me. Don't even think of trying to interrupt me, ok?" Dean watched as his brother nodded his head. He returned the nod and took a deep breath.

"Good. Firstly don't let me ever hear you say that Dad wished that you had died instead of Mom ok, cause Sammy that's not true." His voice was firm and Sam began to try and squirm away from his hold, as he opened his mouth to interrupt but Dean held strong and cut him off.

"No interruptions Sam, just listen. Dad is so proud of you, I know you don't believe that but trust me he does. All he ever wanted was for you to be safe, after loosing Mom he never wanted to go through that again. When you told him that you wanted to go to college all he could see was that you were going to be on your own, unprotected and that scared him Sammy, he wouldn't admit it but that's the truth." Dean's voice began to crack and he looked away from his brother for a second, it was just the opportunity Sam needed to speak.

"If that's how he felt then why did he tell me to leave and not come back?" his voice quiet, and as Dean turned back to look at his brother he could see Sam's eyes shining with emotion.

"He was scared Sam, he said it to try and make you stay, he never ever meant it Sammy. You know this isn't my first time to Palo Alto, I used to drop by every couple of weeks to check up on you." He could see the surprise registering on his brother's face and allowed to a smile to come on his own.

"I never told Dad though, I wasn't sure how he would react, but then one day when I stopped by I saw him watching you going into the library." Dean let that fact sink in before going any further.

"It turns out that we had both been coming here any chance we got to make sure that you were alright." Watching as tears formed in his little brothers eyes he decided to continue.

"Sammy, you didn't call me tonight, I think with everything that has gone you've gotten confused. I called you tonight Sam, I needed to speak to you." Sam had s look of confusion on his face.

"No Dean I remember, I told Zach that I needed you, I took out my phone and then I was talking to you….." Sam stopped, and looked up at his brother, a look of dread on his face.

"Dean, why were you calling me?" He asked as he searched his brother's face as though he thought he would find the answer there.

Dean looked away from his brother, needing a moment to compose himself and work out how best to explain what had happened to his brother. Turning back to his brother, he took a deep breath.

"Sam, Dad and I had separated cause there were two jobs that needed looking into so I headed to New Orleans and he headed to Jericho. We were supposed to meet up a week ago but Dad never showed. He left a message on my phone a couple of days before we were due to meet up. He told me to be careful, that we were all in danger. I rang everyone I could think of but nobody has heard from him and anytime I try his phone it goes straight to voice mail."

Sam turned his head away from his brother and stood up, he began pacing again before stopping and turning to face his brother.

"So he doesn't know what's happened?" he asked Dean.

"I have left messages for him Sam, but I don't know if he is getting them. I don't think he is cause he'd be here if he knew Sam, I know it."

"I need Dad Dean, I mean what happened tonight, it was just like what happened to Mom. It's my fault isn't it?" he said as he began to pace again.

"What are you talking about Sam, what's your fault." Dean was confused; he was having a hard time following his brother's train of thought. Sam stopped pacing and looked at his brother with tears streaming down his face.

"Mom and Jess both died over my bed Dean, that can't just be a coincidence, it has to mean something and I'm the common factor so it has to be my fault."

It broke Deans heart to watch his brother break down in front of his eyes, guilt weighing heavy on his shoulders. Striding towards his he took Sam's face in his hands.

"Sammy, Mom's death and Jess's death are not your fault. The only place for blame is with the thing that did this. You were a baby when Mom died, how could a baby cause something like that, huh? I don't know what's going on Sam, and I'm sorry that I don't have the answers that you need but what I do know is that Dad going missing and this thing showing up again is not a coincidence. I promise you Sam, we'll find Dad and we'll find the thing that did this and make sure that it will never happen again."

Sam nodded, and Dean felt his brother sway. Putting his arm around his brother's shoulders he began to move Sam towards the bed.

"Come on Sam, you need to get some rest ok." Seeing that Sam was about to interrupt, he continued on not giving his brother a chance to disagree.

"If we are going to find Dad then you need to be a hundred percent and that means you have to get some rest." By now he had his brother lying on the bed and began pulling the sheets over him.

"Go to sleep Sam, I'll be here when you wake up."

Dean watched as his brother's eyes slowly closed, running a hand over his face, he went to the Impala to get his things. He needed to protect the room in order to protect his brother and although unwilling to admit it to Sam he was worried by the fact that his mother and Jess were killed over his little brothers bed. He knew it wasn't Sam's fault, it never even crossed his mind but at the same time he couldn't help but feel that his brother was being targeted and there was no way anyone or anything was going to hurt his brother. Silently moving around the room he began laying lines of salt.

TBC...

Please review - I'd love to know what you think. Epilogue to come soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural or its characters

**A/N** I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed. I'm on holidays for a week now so I'd like to say sorry in advance if I'm a little late replying!!!

**One Week Later…………….**

Dean watched as his brother packed his bag, the new clothes that they had bought being carefully folded and stored away. Sam had been quiet all day, but Dean wasn't surprised, as the past week had taken its toll on his brother. They had awoken to Sam's cell ringing the morning after they had cleared the air and set things straight. Jessica's parents had wanted to include Sam in the funeral arrangements. Dean will never forget the look on Sam's face, it was as if he had expected it to be a bad dream and that everything would be ok in the morning, however that was not to be.

He had dropped his brother off to meet with Jessica's parents and after the tenth time of asking Sam if he wanted him to stay, to which he got a negative response, he had made his way back to his brothers apartment to try and find out what had happened. The blaze seemed to have been contained mainly to the bedroom, but apart from picking up some EMF readings using the EMF Meter that he converted from a walkman, the only other thing he found traces of sulphur. It was as he expected before coming to the apartment, whatever had caused this was long gone.

The funeral went by in a blur for Sam, he sat beside Jessica's parents with Dean sitting directly behind him. Feeling very uncomfortable where he was, all he wanted to stand up and scream that it was his fault that Jess was dead, and that it should have been him that had died that night. The sympathetic glances from his friends, from Jess's parents even Dean were beginning to drive him crazy, he needed to find the thing that had killed his girlfriend, he needed to find his father to tell him how sorry he was that he had left, that he didn't mean the words he said the night he left, but most of all he needed to let him know that he was now in the fight.

Dean had been eager to start looking for his Dad, but he had watched Oprah enough to know that closure was important, so Sam would have his closure, he wasn't going to try and force his brother to leave when he wasn't ready. To be honest he didn't know how to broach that subject with his brother. Part of him was sure that Sam would want revenge, want to help him find there father and go back on the road with him, but there was another part that niggled away at him wondering if Sam would tell him that he was going to stay, that this was the life he always wanted.

Thankfully for Dean he never had to ask Sam, as soon as the funeral was over and Sam had spoken to Jess's parents he walked towards him and told him that if they hurried they could be on the road in an hour. Leaving an opened mouthed Dean, Sam walked away and headed towards the Impala.

So here they were one hour later, Dean watching his brother zipping his duffle bag closed.

"Sam, are you sure that you don't want to stay one more night, I mean we can go to Jess's parents house like they asked and leave first thing in the morning?" he asked, watching as his brother came to a stop and looked at him with those brown expressive eyes.

"No Dean I'm sure, I mean thanks for asking but I'm ready to leave."

"Well if you're sure?" Dean asked again giving his brother one last chance to change his mind.

"Dean, I gotta find Dad, I gotta find the thing that killed Jess, so we don't have time to stay here cause we've got work to do." With that he walked past his brother with his bag in his hand, throwing it into the trunk, he got into the passenger seat of the Impala waiting for his brother.

Dean grabbed his own bag, and headed for the door, as he locked it and moved to the car he took a deep breath, Sam was back in the hunt, and with his Dad missing he had to be on top of his game in order to keep his brother safe. He smiled as he opened to the door of the car, what else were big brothers for?

The End :-)


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